The Guidonian Hand

If anyone of you has been lucky enough to have taken a music appreciation course then you might know how hardcore this is...
This is the Guidonian Hand - originating in the 11th C., it was used as a mnemonic device to help singers get the right pitches when sight reading music. Notation was just coming about and it was confusing the hell out of some of our ancient friends. Even more confusing was polyphony, or many notes going on at once. The modern ear is bombed with chords, rhythms, melodic and harmonic lines, along with singing or rapping; all within a 4 minute radio cut. Back in the 10th century, in the Western world, things were way different. It was simple and uncluttered. Monophonic lines, sung by one hairy monk, was about as wild as it got. You might know this music as Gregorian chants. You'd recognize it if you've ever gotten a questionable massage, or used to rock out to Enigma.

The coolest part about the Hand is that it's proof that communicating the beauty of music was a huge priority to the ancient world. People were obsessed with getting it right and sharing it with both the sacred and secular. A lot has changed since then and more and more people are climbing to the helm of music. I have a personal connection to the Hand because it reminds me that as a musician I am responsible for communicating my interpretation of music clearly and without question. The notes we use now and their function is a direct result of the workings of the Guidonian Hand. Give it up to those monks.

So the next time your putzing about and complaining about what's on the radio, why your hands are dry, and how the cast of Jersey Shore are doing, put these things together and ruminate on the history of the Guido - the Guidonian Hand.

- WhaleHawk -

A heightened sense of purpose

As I relax on this stormy Monday, I envision myself remembering a time when I was extremely enveloped by a consuming desire to access, contain, capture and regurgitate scientific findings. Not having the option of looking out of a window, I imagine myself looking out of a window and wearing a vest with pocket watch pockets, being reminded of my first treatise on umbrella safety in New York City. I'd like to share some of this with you now....

~Umbrellas and You~
A treatise on umbrella safety for the greater New York Area

When we think of rain we rarely think of safety. However the numbers are in, and as with such late arriving guests to a party, these numbers didn't bring anything to snack on or even a bottle, but these numbers plan on eating everything, getting lit and trapping you in a corner and convincing you, that although you mean well, you'll never really understand what they're talking about. Then why are we talking Terrence?!?!

In the year 2006 there were 395 deaths related to umbrellas*. These everyday death traps lie in wait, posing as helpful accouterments to aid in the futile attempt to escape the Earth's weather systems. Look what happened to this guy, and this person. It is not something to be taken lightly, like salt or feather dusting, this is for real. Along with them being dangerous when carried about by people, some of them just do the whole life-threatening thing on their own. Look at this bold guy over here

Home Depot had to recall these because they kept falling on grandma. Grandma can only take 1 or 2 things smacking her dome-piece, and this umbrella counts for at least 3 things.

Another thing umbrellas enable is the human ability to walk as hard as you can in one direction without looking where you're going. This is also caused by cell phone users texting, Googling, and updating their FaceSpace while walking...and when they run into, they look at you like you have the problem.

"the sky is blue behind me"
- is anything good enough for you hipsters?

What's the point of this? As with all scientific findings, it's up to the listener to decide, call in or text their votes. The line may be busy but keep trying. It remains a fact that umbrellas are horribly designed death machines, but then again this is just a treatise, so what do I know besides everything there is to know about the subject I'm treatising on.

* - Not really.

Most umbrella related deaths happened on account of this guy.

First Step Second

As the second day of The WhaleHawk Diaries comes to a crest, I'm reminded of a trip I once took with my man servant Crespin. I'd like to share that entry with you now...

July 6th, 1995 -
Last night I could not sleep. Kid n Play have recently disbanded along with Concrete Blonde.
My world is so shaky, I can hardly say this trip to Florida will clear the trappings of my troubled soul. Crespin, my loyal and crippled man servant, has reassured me the trip will be a brilliant tonic. Crespin relies heavily on the crutch, and as such could not help me load the swamp buggy with the provisions I had secured for our trip to the Everglades. Many times I had damned the mother who birthed him, however I also saw in Crespin an extreme sadness. He had never learned how to properly behave while sneezing, and would overtly cover up this fact with random citations from adult fiction novels, mostly involving him being ravaged by a pirate or many pirates at once. As I loaded a slab of clotted cream atop our swamp buggy, he was preparing to sneeze and thus regale me with a tale of a captain attempting to circumnavigate his own personal Horn of Africa. I immediately scolded him for his lack of imagery and general foul thinking and he looked at me as I put the last Snuggie in storage and said, "Please. Remember me not for what I did, but the character in which I did it." I ruminated on this and then slapped his face.
I pray that the fleet of my soul will find fairer winds in the tropical climate of Florida.

Yours Truly,
WhaleHawk

- First Things First -

Introduction/Mission Statement -
WhaleHawk is an entity that makes music with others, shares and creates, and mostly stands in wonderment of the ingenuity of the creative human spirit. Although others have adopted the name, the only claim to fame is a stain made from flame...the heat of original thought. Or at least as original as words can allow one to be.
A few notes to get things started...

• Imagine a world where seashells put humans up to their ears and hear machines.
  

• In an attempt to escape germs, they started using mannequin hands to type out the emails. Mistakes were made, jobs lost.

• Science has the answers that religion doesn't. Religion has the answers science is looking for. And somewhere there is a large child eating just the cheese out of a Kraft HandiSnack.